Shattered
by alexmonalisa
Summary: Things crumble between Bobby and Rogue leaving her wondering what she has left. Post X3. Full summary inside.


**A/N: I know! I should stop doing one-shots. This is the last one but I feel that all Ryro users have disappeared and so I write this because the idea shot in my head. And the song wouldn't fit into my ROMY story. Now I have to ask.**

**Firstly these are stories of mine that need some attention.**

**Shape (x-men evolution)- ROMY**

**It's not over- RYRO**

**Please review, even if like my sister you leave me a smiley face. And vote in my poll which closes October 5****th****. Thanks.**

**Disclaimer note: I own nothing but the idea.**

**Song- Shattered by Trading Yesterday. (Amazing song)**

**Full summary: **One year on from the events of Alcatraz Island. Storm, Logan and Hank have rebuilt the mansion and are now trying to return things to normal. All those from the brotherhood that were underage return to Xavier's. After things crumble at between Bobby and Rogue, Rogue is left to wonder what is left for her.

* * *

Rogue sat at her window sill looking out over the school grounds. Her hair hid her face, red with embarrassment. She had just asked John if they were a couple and received an answer she didn't want to hear. She'd hoped he could accept her but it looked that was impossible. It had been four months since she and Bobby had split. Leaving her with a broken heart. But soon she and Pyro had been spending more time with her. He even kissed her sometimes. But he never acknowledged them as a couple. And apparently they weren't.

"I don't understand John."

"Let's face it. Maybe Marie D'Acanto and John Allerdyce weren't meant to end up together."

She turned to him and watched as he then left her room. She closed her eyes, trying to stop the tears.

**Yesterday I died; tomorrow's bleeding**

**Fall into your sunlight**

**The future's open wide beyond believing**

She spent the rest of the day in her room, not even coming out for dinner. At midnight she heard a knock on her door. And she ignored it. The knocking grew louder until her it became an instant banging. But Rogue still ignored it. The knocking went away and she closed her eyes and went to sleep. But her dreams were more like nightmares, with all her old psyche's haunting her. When she had got the cure she had thought that everyone would go away. But while the psyche's were gone, the memories stayed.

She was startled awake by another loud knocking on her door. She sat up taking deep breaths.

"Rogue? Breakfast."

She recognised the voice as Jubilee's. She sighed and noticed that she was still in yesterday's clothes.

"Marie?" whined Jubilee.

"I'm not hungry." yelled Rogue.

She heard silence for a moment and then Jubilee started knocking again. She opted to rather start brushing her hair. Jubilee was banging on the door again by the time she had washed and changed into a tank top and black jeans. She sat back on her bed and picked up a magazine.

"Hey, firecracker, Storm says keep it down."

Rogue tensed as she heard Logan's voice. She heard Jubilee sigh.

"Not my fault Wolvie. Roguey hasn't come out of her room since yesterday."

Suddenly there was a harder knock on her door.

"Marie?"

She sighed. Sure she could ignore Jubilee but Logan would probably break down the door. She dragged herself to the door and threw it open.

"What!" she snapped.

"Jeez chica, just making sure you're okay."

"Jubes, I said I'm not hungry."

"Marie, you need to eat."

She looked at Logan and sighed.

"Fine."

Jubilee smiled and skipped downstairs. Rogue walked sullenly next to Logan.

"You wanna talk about it?"

"No…Hey Logan."

"Yeah?"

"I'm going to today's danger room session."

"You sure kid?"

"Like you said, just because I don't have powers, doesn't mean I can't be an x-man."

"Well, okay then. I'll tell Storm."

She nodded and then headed over to where Jubilee was waving. She sat down and tried to avoid the stare from across the room.

**To know why hope dies**

**And losing what was found, a world so hollow**

**Suspended in a compromise**

**But the silence of this sound is soon to follow**

She was running as fast as she could. It was forty minutes into their danger room session. She was trying to find Pyro who had been assigned as her partner. She was one of the only people who trusted working with him. Usually he was left on his own but things were even now. Suddenly a hand grabbed hers and she was pulled away. Something fast sped past her.

"Thanks." she breathed.

She took a deep breath to try and regain herself. She noticed John looked furious.

"You can't do this."

"I'm fine John."

"You don't have powers!"

"Don't need them."

She winced as he gripped her upper arm a little too tightly.

"Marie, you're going to get hurt."

"You're hurting me now." she whispered.

He let go and lightly rubbed where he had grabbed. She relished his soft touch. His hand moved up and he slowly moved his arm up until he was gently cupping her face. She leaned in but then saw something behind him.

"Look out!" she shrieked.

Acting quickly she pushed him away. The sentinel grabbed her. She screamed and pounded at the metal. Then winced as she heard a crack and pain shot through her chest. Suddenly the room changed to a dull blue and she was lying on the floor. She rolled and held herself up with her knees and one arm, the other arm wrapped around her torso.

"Marie?"

"Roguey?"

"Kid?"

"I think I broke something." she muttered.

**Somehow sundown**

**And finding answers**

**Is forgetting all of the questions we call home**

**Passing the graves of the unknown**

Two hours later Rogue sat in front of the graves of Jean, Scott and Xavier. Her chest was bandaged and she'd two broke ribs. The wind blew threw her hair as she stroked the professor's grave.

"I did it. I asked John. And like everyone told me, he wasn't serious." she sighed, fighting the tears. " I wish you were here. You would have told us if we could trust him. I want to trust him. I love him. But he's not the John I remember. Being in the brotherhood changed him. Alcatraz changed him."

She looked over the setting sun, a tear finally escaped from her eye.

"Professor, I think if you hadn't have died, I would have never taken the cure. Once you died, all thought of control went out the window. With you gone, no one can help me. I just wish he would accept me."

She looked at the graves of Jean and Scott. Then looked away.

"Love sucks."

She stood up and brushed herself off.

"Until next time Professor."

**As reason clouds my eyes with splendour fading**

**Illusions of the sunlight**

**A reflection of a lie will keep me waiting**

She shouldn't be doing this. She opened the door and moved out of the way. Her date entered. She didn't want to have it here but Storm suggested that the school not be closed off to the public. Kyle was a brother of one the students here who had asked her out weeks ago. He was also human. She'd only agreed recently when Storm suggested she interact with others more. Others like her.

"Come in Kyle."

"Thanks Marie."

"So… hungry?"

"Yeah."

"Come on. I made lasagne."

She lead him to the kitchen. He took a seat at the island and she handed him a plate before taking on for herself. Sitting next to him she dug in.

"This tastes great."

"Thanks."

She reached over to grabbed some salad but winced as her chest shot with pain.

"You okay?" he asked.

"Fell and broke my ribs yesterday. They're still tender."

"Ow."

"Yeah."

"So, what do you teach?"

"I'm a assistant English teacher. Just until I get my degree."

"Oh, do you go to university?"

"No, I study online. We're short staffed so Miss Munroe needs as much help as she can get."

"Oh."

She nodded and then carried on. They spoke for hours. She realised this was as normal as she ever had been. And it didn't feel the least bit good. They talk a walk outside so that she could show him the boathouse. She stood over the lake and sighed.

"So…" he started.

"So."

She turned towards him but pain shot through her ribs again. She knelt down and clutched her ribs.

"Marie?"

She opened her mouth to say she was okay when a pair of arms wrapped around her.

"She'll be fine."

"Oh, I'll guess I'll go."

Kyle smiled at her and then left. She watched him go while John carefully lifted her shirt to check her wound. She looked at him and raised her hand to carefully touch his cheek. His gaze softened and he planted a gentle kiss on her head before lifting her up.

"I think you should go back to bed." he whispered.

She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and buried her face in his chest, breathing in his scent.

**With love gone for so long**

**And this day's ending**

**Is the proof of time killing all the faith I know**

**Knowing that faith is all I hold**

She woke up in her bed four hours later. The sun was setting and the last rays shone in her room. Her eyes fell upon the figure at the end of her bed. John sat with his legs crossed at the edge of her bed, laptop on his knee, typing. He looked so…peaceful. His reading glasses were perched on the edge of his nose and a small frown on his face. She sighed and lay back down, staring at her ceiling.

"John?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you love me?"

She waited but he didn't answer. She closed her eyes and fought with tears.

"John, please-"

"Marie, we see each other every day. It would be easier if you didn't ask such questions."

"It's a yes or no question."

"I can't do this."

She heard him slam his laptop closed and then felt his weight leave the bed.

"Don't strain yourself. You're meant to be recovering."

Then her door slammed and she knew he had left. She opened her eyes and let the tears fall.

**And I've lost who I am, (i'm waiting)**

**and I can't understand (and fading)**

**Why my heart is so broken, (and holding)**

**rejecting your love, (love) without, (onto these tears)**

**love gone wrong; lifeless words carry on (i am crying)**

She thought all the tears were done. But when she walked into Storm's office she started crying again. Suddenly it felt like her heart was broken and no matter what the pieces couldn't be pieced together. She didn't what to do anymore. She wasn't Rogue and now she didn't even want to be Marie.

She loved John but something was wrong about that. They had always been close and when she first came to the school she accepted who he was. What was so different now? Why couldn't she just accept that he didn't feel that way about her. She collapsed to her knees her chest starting to feel heavy.

She clutched the floor and gasped, trying to regain air in her lungs. She heard laughter and voices, then the door opened. She looked up and found the whole x team staring at her. As usual Bobby and Kitty turned away while Storm, Jubilee and Logan rushed over to her. And John wasn't even there. Logan lifted her shoulders gently so that she had to face him.

"Kid, you okay?"

"No."

He nodded and pulled her up. Wrapping his arm around her shoulders he lead her out the room. She felt Storm pat her back and Bobby whispered something to Kitty. Rogue looked away. From the direction they were going she realised Logan was taking her to the med-lab.

"Marie, you know that if something's wrong you can talk to me."

She nodded. They stepped into the elevator and he reached out and pushed the button. She sighed and leaned into his hug.

"I know."

They arrived at the lab and he removed his arm from her shoulders.

"I have to get back to the meeting. Will you be okay?" he whispered.

She nodded and gave him a quick hug. He ruffled her hair and then headed back up. She pushed the button and the door opened. Hank looked up from his notes and smiled.

"Ah Marie. Storm called ahead. Here."

He put a little bottle of pills in her hand.

"Those will help calm you down. Take one with every meal."

"Okay."

"Now, have you been eating properly?"

"Three meals a day."

"Good, good." he muttered, writing things down.

"It really sucks to break two ribs."

"And dislocating your hip bone." murmured Hank.

"Yes, well it's healing."

"Just take it easy. Your body is used to taking in Logan's healing power. But now that you have the cure-"

"I'm worthless! Spare me the lecture, I know I don't belong."

She hopped off the table and stormed back upstairs.

**But I know, all I know's that the end's beginning (i'm dying tonight)**

**who I am from the start, (i'm waiting)**

**take me home to my heart (and fading)**

She passed one of the classrooms and noticed the door was open. John sat inside typing frantically one his laptop. She entered slowly but winced as Hank called out her name.

"Marie, you forgot these."

She turned and grabbed the pills out of his hand.

"I think you misunderstood what I meant in the lab. Clearly because of all the blood you lost you should stay in the med-lab. But since you refuse-"

"I'm not weak!"

Hank sighed.

"I'll talk to her." whispered John.

Hank nodded and then left. John closed his laptop and put his arms around her. He kissed the top of her head and lead her to a couch. He sat down and pulled her down so that she could curl in his lap. He stroked her hair and held her tight. She wanted to enjoy this but something was nagging at the back of her mind.

"John, when we kiss, when we really kiss, I can feel how much you want me. Why can't we just be together?"

"It's complicated."

"Not when you love somebody."

"Rogue, why can't you just enjoy being with me."

"What's the use? Part of you hates me."

He sighed and turned her face towards his so that he could look at her expression.

"I hate what you did. I don't hate you."

"But you don't love me."

He closed his eyes and placed his lips on her forehead.

"Wanna stay with me tonight?"

He said it in barely a whisper but she knew he meant it.

"Yeah." she whispered.

**Let me go and I will run, (and holding)**

**I will not be silent, (silent) all this time (onto these tears)**

**spent in vain; wasted years wasted gain (i am crying)**

They spent the night just lying in his bed in silence. He held her tight, kissing her so soft and gently. But something was wrong, she could feel it. Sometimes she would start to cry and he would press her face into his chest to quieten her sobs. At about midnight she woke up after falling asleep for a few hours. She noticed that his eyes were still open. He handed her a glass of water and a pill. She took it and passed him back the water.

Then she merely memorized his face. Every detail from his brown hair to the sprinkle of a stubble on his chin. She raised her hand and traced every line and contour of his face. His eyes seemed to be doing the same to her.

**All is lost but hope remains and this war's not over (i'm dying tonight)**

**There's a light, there's a sun (i'm waiting...)**

**taking all these shattered ones**

**To the place we belong (i am waiting...)**

**and his love will conquer all **

At about two am John sighed and climbed out the bed. Rogue sighed and looked down at her hands. She stood up slowly and walked closer to him.

"Is something wrong John?"

"I'm turning twenty-one in a week. I'll be legally an adult. I've been in contact with Magneto. I'm going to try and rejoin the brotherhood."

"I don't understand, Magneto's cured."

"His power's are gone, not his dreams."

"How long?" she whispered.

"I'm leaving tonight."

"No, how long have you know you're leaving."

"Two months."

"Couldn't you just have slipped away? Gone when I was sleeping?"

"Had to make sure I could explain."

"Explain what!"

"I don't want you to follow me. And you're not the reason I'm leaving. I'm leaving because it's who I am. But I need to make sure you're okay."

Okay? She was far from okay. She a freak among freaks, misunderstood and touchable but still untouchable. The only person who maybe cared about enough to give her a future was leaving. She was going to be alone. Know one to kiss her, to hold her and to sure her that she wasn't unlovable. Her chest constricted and she fell to her knees. Sobs racked her throat and she felt a chest explode in pain.

**Yesterday I died; tomorrow's bleeding**

**Fall into your sunlight **

"Marie, calm down."

"I can't breathe." she gasped.

"Marie, please try."

He pulled her into his embrace and rubbed her back. Her chest was so sore and the tears were blinding her. Shattered, that's how she felt.

"Marie I need to go. But you, you're going to be okay. You will survive."

"I know Johnny. I know no matter what I say you'll go. But know that I love you."

"I know."

He kissed her. She held him tighter, trying to pull him closer. But he broke the kiss and tucked something into her hand.

"Goodbye."

He grabbed his bag and left. She lay on his floor, curled on in a ball.

Logan found her there in the morning, eyes staring at nothing, looking like a lost child and a familiar lighter clutched in her hand.

-xXx-

**3 years later**

Marie sat staring the wall. A small knock on the door broke her from her silent stupor. Moving as to not wake the little girl in her arms, she stood and headed to the front door of her house. She shifted the sleeping child so that one arm was free. She opened the door and a ghost of a smile graced her face. She stepped back and let the man enter before closing the door. She lead the man into the living room. They sat together on the new white leather love seat. The man, known to many as the Wolverine, sighed and looked at the girl who was nothing more than an empty shell.

"It's great to see you Logan."

"I promised I'd come visit."

Marie nodded and looked up at Logan. He hadn't grown any older after all these years.

"Kyle's on a business trip. It's just me and Lavender."

She smiled and kissed the little girl in her arms.

"You know, if you're lonely, you can come back."

She ignored him and merely continued to smile at the girl in her arms.

"He's having an affair." she stated, no anger in her tone.

"Then leave him."

"I can't"

Logan could feel his temper rising. She was to calm, to peaceful. Letting someone walk over her.

"Dammit Marie. You didn't want to marry the prick in the first place. You only married him because he got you pregnant after that one night stand."

"Logan, I know you care. But… okay, I don't love him. But he's Lavender's father, part of me will always like him."

"So, you're going to go through your whole life liking?"

She remained quiet. Lavender's eyes were fluttering. She was waking up.

"Did you see the news?" asked Logan quickly.

"Yeah. Genosha, land of peace."

"So that means you saw-"

"The happy couple. Wanda is a lucky girl. And John-"

Marie felt tears burn in her eyes. She handed Logan her daughter before rushing to the dining room. She collapsed to the floor and took deep breaths. Reaching into her pocket, she grabbed the lighter and held it close to her heart. She breathed slowly. She felt a hand on her shoulder and she was hoisted.

"Momma?"

She wiped her tears and smiled at Lavender and Logan. Logan handed her her anxiety pills. She swallowed one before standing up and taking her daughter.

"Good afternoon sugar. Sorry if we woke you."

"Why don't we make some lunch?"

"If you're hungry Logan, you should just say so." scolded Marie.

They went to the kitchen and Marie put Lavender in her highchair. The two year old smiled and kicked her legs happily. Logan opened the fridge and Marie came to stand next to him.

"She has your smile." he whispered.

"You've said that before."

"It's nice that it's still alive."

"If anything ever happens to me-"

"You're going to make it."

"This pain in my chest, the anxiety attacks, I get it every time I think of him. And that's most of the time. I can't even look at flames."

"Marie-"

"Just promise!" she hissed.

"No matter what I'll always be here for Lavender."

"Promise?"

"Yeah. I'm looking out for her and you."

Marie nodded and carried on. She knew she wouldn't follow John and that he'd never come back. He was engaged now and she was married. When he'd left he'd taken a piece of her heart leaving a gaping hole. But deep down, even though he'd left her shattered, she still loved him and always would.

-xXx-

* * *

**A/N: Please review! Kyle is a made up character. This is a one shot. And listen to the song. It makes me cry!**


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